I hope you're sitting down... because what I'm
about to share with you will change how you view
men, dating, and relationships.
I'm about to take you "behind the scenes" in
the male mind.
I'm going to give you a perspective that most
women never see or realize.
Unfortunately for most women, not seeing things
the way I'm about to share with you keeps them
trapped in patterns of misunderstanding and
unfulfilling relationships with men.
If you pay careful attention to what I'm about
to share with you, you're going to start having
more success with men right away, whether you're
single and looking for that right guy... or you're
in a relationship and you'd like to start
connecting on a deeper level.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT MEN SAY AND WHAT THEY
REALLY MEAN
Have you ever heard a man say something like:
"I'm not ready for a serious relationship."
Or how about this one -
"I want my freedom."
If you've been close in a relationship with a
man and he pulled away, then of course you've
heard this before.
Men say this stuff all the time.
Do you know what a man "really" means when he
says these things?
And, do you know WHAT TO DO that can instantly
change a man's predictable behavior of WITHDRAWAL
or RESISTANCE?
If not, then it's time you stop listening to
what a man will SAY TO YOU about himself and his
feelings... and start paying attention to what's
going on inside his heart and mind.
If you're ready to gain a deep understanding
of Attraction and what makes a man fall deeply
in love
In the past, when I'd hear my friends, other
men, and even myself say, "I'm not ready for a
serious relationship", I knew that there was
something more to it than a just a man who didn't
want a relationship with a woman.
In fact, I found that most of the men who said
this quickly ended up in relationships with OTHER
WOMEN soon after.
Men I knew well would be telling women they had
been dating or in a relationship with, that they
weren't ready for all that came with a "real"
relationship...
But what did they do as soon as they were
single again?
They would start meeting new women, go on
dates, and once they found a woman they liked and
were very attracted to, they'd spend most of their
time with this one woman.
And they would do something else...
They'd stop dating any other women they might
have met and move into another relationship, even
though they had just ended a relationship with
another women they felt strongly for because they
didn't want a "serious relationship."
It almost didn't make sense when I first
started to recognize this pattern.
But keep in mind, even though these things
don't always make sense to women, they make
PERFECT sense to the men going through them.
Does this situation with men ever frustrate you
or leave you feeling like men have NO CLUE what
they're doing?
Here's the problem...
When a man says one of these things, he
actually MEANS something that is different from
what a woman would mean if she said the same
words.
Let me explain.
If a woman says, "I'm going to stay home and
relax today," she probably means that she's going
to stay home, make sure that her house and life is
in order, catch up on chores and bills, and then
maybe watch some shows on tv.
If a MAN says that he's going to stay home and
relax, he's probably going to watch some sports,
drink beer, look at pictures of women on the
internet, and order take-out food.
IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are reading this right
now and you are a woman who watches sports, drinks
beer, looks at pictures of women on the internet,
and orders take out to relax, then contact me
immediately at the email address below.
Ok, enough kidding around.
Back to our topic...
Men are DIFFERENT from women. And the words
they use often don't mean what they SOUND like
they mean.
So, the FIRST thing that you have to get
through your head is that just because a man SAYS
something to you, it doesn't always mean what you
THINK it means.
Catch my meaning?
THE BIG SECRET HE ISN'T TELLING YOU
There's a secret that men never happen to
mention about what they want with a woman, why
they date, and what it means for them to have a
relationship.
Unfortunately, for the good women who are
trying to create a great relationship with a
man... and hoping that if they try hard enough to
make him happy with them so he'll stay... this
little secret is causing a LOT of pain and
frustration.
The SECRET is that most men DO want a
relationship with an amazing woman.
BUT... (and this is an important insight - it
might take you a few hours, days, or even weeks to
start to understand it for yourself)
Men only want a relationship with a woman who
already has about 100 other qualities that they
never mention and could probably never list or
describe even if they were asked to.
And they'll only end up emotionally involved
and not RESISTING a long term relationship if they
experience for themselves a woman who proves she
has these qualities over time.
In other words, if a man says, "I need to be
alone right now," what he REALLY means is:
I want a woman who will make me FEEL better
when I'm with her than I do in my everyday life as
a single man.
The REALITY is that when a man says one of
these "I want my freedom" statements, he actually
has an IDEAL woman in mind who understands who he
is and won't make it feel like "work" when he's
with her.
A man wants a woman who knows how to have and
enjoy a relationship... instead of one who spends
her time and energy trying to analyze, worry
about, and "fix" things.
The reality of this situation is that what a
man REALLY wants is a woman who makes him feel
MORE of the EMOTIONAL and PHYSICAL response I like
to call ATTRACTION... and LESS of the worry and
confusion that men don't often like, or know how
to deal with, that comes from "working" on a
serious relationship.
For most men, feeling and sharing attraction on
a physical and emotional level IS the defintion of
a good relationship.
Of course, I'm not just talking about the
common "short-term" kind of attraction that's
mostly physical...
You already know that a relationship takes a
whole lot more than just this kind of thing to
really work and LAST.
I'm also talking about the more "long-term"
kind of attraction that comes from a deeper
EMOTIONAL connection and understanding.
A man wants a woman who makes him FEEL great,
both when he's with her... AND when he's alone.
In other words, they want a woman who knows how
to be loving and affectionate, but independent at
the same time.
But most men either can't describe the things
that actually make them feel this kind of
CONNECTION and ATTRACTION with a woman, or they
don't WANT to have to describe it to a woman,
because they want a woman who already IS those
things... without having to learn them.
Think about it.
If you were hiring a bodyguard, would you want
one that said, "Yeah, I can be a bodyguard. Just
give me some time to learn..." or would you want
one that already KNEW how to protect and defend
at anytime, anywhere without having to "learn"?
Duh.
Well, the same goes with men.
They don't WANT a woman they have to train.
The last thing a man wants to do, is to take a
woman who DOESN'T "naturally" understand these
things, and show her what they are and how they
work.
If you don't already know how to relate to a
man in a way that appeals to him and shows him
that you "get" all these things, then no amount of
"talking things through" or trying to improve
things together is going to help you or make him
start seeing you as the woman he wants to stay
with.
WHAT IS A "COOL GIRL"?
Lately I've been thinking a lot about the idea
of a "Cool Girl."
You hear most men using the term, and some
women.
Men everywhere, without ever having talked to
each other, share a common idea about women and
use the term "Cool Girl" universally.
In some places the actual words are different,
but the idea is the same.
But what does it actually MEAN?
And is it important that men all have this
common belief about women?
Well, after thinking about this particular
topic for a long time, I've come to the conclusion
that it is a VERY important topic.
At this point, I believe that a COOL GIRL is
this "ideal" that men imagine when they're saying
"I want my freedom."
They're thinking of the COOL GIRL, and then
they're imagining themselves with a woman who is
this way.
There are a lot of aspects to this COOL GIRL.
Here are a few that are important:
- Lack of Insecurities
- Easygoing
- Humor
- Unpredictability
- Independent
- Emotionally "balanced"
...and the list goes on.
It's actually not easy to describe a COOL GIRL
in a few sentences... but the truth is that a man
can recognize one INSTANTLY.
For more on exactly what a COOL GIRL is, how
they naturally communicate with men in a way that
makes men think, "This is the kind of woman that I
can see myself committing and staying with..."
Then check out my "Catch Him & Keep Him" eBook.
Not only does it describe how men think when it
comes to dating and why they commit to and stay in
relationships with women... but it shows you how
to start interacting with men and create a deeper
gut-level emotional attraction with a man
IMMEDIATELY.
You can download it here and be reading it in
just a minute:
THE MISTAKE WOMEN MAKE
Now, there's a common and often irreversible
mistake that women make with men when they're
dating and in relationships.
Let me ask you...
If you wanted to get closer to a man, have him
see you as a great person, develop a strong
connection, and get him to "open up" with you,
then it would makes sense to do and say the things
that you know work to create more love and
affection, right?
This is the first inclination most women have
with men - to do the things that THEY think create
love and connection.
What if a man did this with you?
What if he decided that you worked the way he
did, and so he decided to come up to you and start
talking about sex, sports, and quickly get close
to you physically?
A man might quickly be drawn in by a woman who
did these things (not for all the right reasons,
of course), but that doesn't mean he should be
trying them with a woman if he wants any kind of
success.
In other words, the things that work FOR YOU as
a woman are NOT what work for a MAN.
Thinking this way couldn't lead to worse
results in dating situations and relationships.
But TONS of women use this tactic of what I
call "Selfish Love." They treat a man the way they
would want to be treated if they were going to
share love and connection with a man.
Another common mistake women make is taking
something that a man SAYS he wants and doing it
TOO MUCH, thinking that if "A little bit is
good, then more must be better."
For instance, a man SAYS to you that he likes
women who are physical and affectionate". So, you
start touching him all the time, grab his hand and
hold it everywhere you go, and always stay right
next to him.
Then what happens?
He leaves you for his ex-girlfriend after
telling you he feels like you're too "needy."
Huh? What's going on here?
This would be kind of like a woman saying, "My
favorite food is chocolate" and a man thinking it
would be good to feed her chocolate for every meal
just because it's her favorite... or adding
chocolate to every single dish he makes for her
from now on... and forgetting that 97% of what
she eats still needs to be OTHER FOOD.
Let me land the plane for you.
Men don't MEAN what you THINK they mean when
they talk about what they want and don't want.
And if you take the things men say too
literally, you're going to wind up shooting
yourself in the foot.
WHAT MEN REALLY MEAN...
So, let me "decode" what men "really" mean when
they say common things.
Consider this your own personal "male language
translator." Refer to it often.
WHEN A MAN SAYS...
"I don't want a serious relationship right now."
WHAT HE REALLY MEANS IS...
"I ONLY WANT A RELATIONSHIP with a woman who
already has her act together, is attractive,
healthy, independent, easy-going, confident, and
who is emotionally in control of herself and her
own life. When we're together I want her to share
her feelings and challenge and inspire me to keep
her love and interest, and to be a great man...
but I also want her to know how to do this without
trying to change me or turning our relationship
into MORE WORK and LESS FUN than I can have on my
own."
Does this make sense?
Again, he's NOT imagining a picture of an
overly-emotional, predictable, needy woman who is
trying to get him to connect with her and sharing
her feelings because she's so worried about things
"working out."
Big difference.
WHEN A MAN SAYS...
"I want an independent woman."
WHAT HE REALLY MEANS IS...
"I want a woman who doesn't get upset about petty
things and who knows how to keep her head when
things get tough or confusing. But, I also want
her to be in touch with her feelings so that: 1.
She doesn't repress her emotions and end up more
frustrated and resentful of me, and... 2. When
she's alone and intimate with me, she's open and
"present"... and she'll share her love and
affection freely."
What a man is NOT doing is making a picture of
a passive woman whose entire mood and state of
mind is dependent on what she thinks is the state
of her relationship and what it means that a man
did or said something.
WHEN A WOMAN SAYS:
"I want a guy who's a good communicator."
WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...
"I want a guy who doesn't talk all the time,
because he knows how to let me know what's on his
mind without using words. I want the kind of guy
that can touch me in a certain way and I feel
tingles all over my body. And I want the kind of
guy that can say things in a way that I
understand... not crudely and man-like."
WHAT MAKES A MAN FEEL COMFORTABLE AND HAPPY WITH A
WOMAN
You might not see this right now, but for most
men, there's nothing more important than knowing
that he makes a woman feel great when she's with
him.
Seriously.
Think "ego."
If you think this truth about men through,
you'll start to have a shift in perspective and
see something you've probably never seen before.
When a woman comes to a man and wants to talk
about something she thinks is wrong in their
relationship, oftentimes a man gets upset not
because he doesn't want to listen to the woman or
talk...
But because it's difficult for him to come to
terms with the idea that the woman could be
unhappy with him.
A man thinks, "It makes me feel like less of a
man since I don't make her happy. If she's
unhappy, then somewhere inside I must not be good
enough."
Imagine if a man was constantly expressing his
feelings about your relationship to you that
seemed disappointed and frustrated.
How would it make you feel?
Sure, as a woman you might think to yourself
that you'd talk to him about it and try and make
things better...
But really you'd start to have one of 2 things
come into your mind either consciously or
subconsciously:
1. Something really is wrong with YOU and the way
you are in the relationship, and he's trying to
tell you...
2. Something is wrong with HIM and how HE thinks
and feels that has nothing to do with you, and
it's his own "bad thinking" about HIMSELF that's
making him obsessively unhappy...
Either way, a whole lot MORE DISTANCE is
created between you two.
Now, lots of women draw the conclusion that
this means you should try and pretend things are
ok when they're not.
That when you're not having the physical and
emotional connection with a man you know is
possible, that you can't communicate how you feel
with a man.
WRONG.
My point: If you want to learn how to connect
with a man on a deeper level, then what you say
isn't the most IMPORTANT thing.
It's HOW and WHEN you say it.
I'll tell you something -
Learning the secrets of communicating with a
man and creating a deep level of Physical and
"Emotional Attraction" can be very rewarding.
A lot of women know EXACTLY what it's like to
be in a relationship with a man who has NO
INTENTION of committing to something more serious.
In other words, he's not feeling that powerful
gut-level ATTRACTION for you that makes all the
fear and excuses for NOT being with you and
building a great life and partnership go away
without RESISTANCE.
Do you know how to make a man FEEL this way
when he's with you.
Or are you still trying to "CONVINCE" him with
words and your own knowledge and "logic" that a
close, loving, lasting relationship with him will
make him and you happy together?
Well, let me tell you...
Just like all the other things that a man
"says" that he wants and doesn't want with a
woman... that most women don't ever "get", being
the woman a man is NATURALLY ATTRACTED to on a
deep level is one of the BIG ONES.
This kind of attraction is THE thing that will
make a man who "says" he doesn't want a serious
relationship beg a woman for a real commitment and
a future together.
If you understand the secrets of how attraction
works for a man, you will notice that men will
start to behave VERY differently around you.
